I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
