i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
