So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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