OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
