return my video game
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
