I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
