meet me or not, i'm out of control
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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