Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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