I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
