Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
