No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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