I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
