The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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