oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
