i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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