Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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