I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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