I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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