so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
