worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
How's work?
Spinning.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
