Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
