I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
