He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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