Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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