I can tuck mytits in my pants
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
