it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
