I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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