I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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