my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
