Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
My cat gives me a boner
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
