im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
