On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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