wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
