Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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