my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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