508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
