Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
