Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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