I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
