Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
