Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
