Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
