his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
