david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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