So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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