This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Where is the hickey?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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