she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
