so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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