hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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