I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
