I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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