tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Randomize
