On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
