just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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