I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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